Songs That Say Something...

Running one afternoon, I was tired and the 30 minutes I was out to run for felt about 90 and my mind began to wander. My iPod wasn’t filled with psyche up, fast moving music, in fact in many cases the opposite. There are a number of songs on my iPod that if anyone found it and played it with think I had lost the plot. But there are a number of songs on there that bring me to a place I can’t explain, and gives me an indescribable feeling – the only way to begin to describe them is as my own personal nirvana. In any case I will attempt to explain the music that makes my blood run a little warmer, give my soul life and is the eclectic soundtrack to my life.


Frank Sinatra - New York New York
This is a song that at 19 years of age, after a few glasses of wine had me waking up the entire house belting out this tune. It brought me to an imagined time in a wonderful city full of magic and bright lights. When I would hear this song, I would imagine myself in the streets of New York, in wine bars, at Broadway shows, being romantically wooed by a stylish 1950s gentleman. At age 22 when I stepped out of a taxi at 2am with Mum in the middle of Time Square – there were no romantic gestures but an excitement I had never felt before. My time in New York was amazing and sharing it with Mum in the midst of a gorgeous New York summer was something I cannot begin to describe.

Now when I hear this song running, it hardly provides a beat to step up the pace, but puts a smile on my face. It reminds me that the best things in life are free, and the moment that years of dreaming to visit New York became a reality is enough to keep this song on my iPod.


The killers - Mr Brightside
Perhaps this song is the song that means more to me than any other in the world. It was the sound track to my life at university. It was played on road trips with the girls, sung loudly in bars at 5am, and danced to at festivals as the sun set slowly behind the stage. But more importantly it is the song that reminds me of the first real friends that I met that love me with all my faults.

These people are wonderfully talented people who live life with such enthusiasm it is infectious. Some of the best moments that I have had in the past 8 years have been because of these people and this song. One particular moment was at a music festival and there were about 16 of us. We had all been separated but we made sure that we were all in the vicinity to see The Killers play. They are friends that I can count on through thick and thin, they are people who I do not see as much as I should and when I’m listening to my iPod this song comes on and I think about these wonderful people who make my life a little brighter knowing they are in it.


Edit Piaf – Milord

This song reminds that perhaps I was probably born a number of centuries too late and perhaps also on the wrong continent. My love affair with all things French is very cliché given I have never been there, and my pathetic attempts to learn the language see me still only being able to say, Je suis heureuse de vous connaitre (a very polite way of saying, ‘please to meet you’ and would more than likely only use it if you were meeting a French queen)

The wonderfully somber lyrics of a lonely woman set to the back drop of a wonderfully upbeat tune sums up my swirling mass of contradictions that exist within myself. To hear it takes me to a wonderfully romantic period that really is completely unrealistic and there was still misery, and ¾ of the way through a long run this makes me a little bit happier. I also like thinking what the people I pass would think if they knew I was ‘psyching up’ to a 1930s French alcoholic’s words.

Florence and the Machine – Dog Days are Over
The only thing harder than get up before 5.30am in the morning to train, is getting up at 5.30am to train in the dead of a Sydney miserable winter. The Monday, Wednesday, Friday swimming rut went something a like this: Alarm goes off at 5.30, stumble to bathroom, brush my teeth, kitchen to make toast and tea to take to swimming. Gather my belongings, question what F I am doing, and Callum would pull up right on 5.40 (don’t be naughty).

I would always get in the car in a terrible mood, Callum would sigh* and I know we both feel the same way. Flo would be cranked up and we would dance stupidly from Bronte to Ultimo on a completely natural high, before we emerged from the car having completed a vicious circle and we were both back to the point of questioning life choices.

This song reminds me of my wonderfully dear friend Callum, who is the voice in my head who says what I am thinking, but also the voice of reason when I need it. We may joke about our ‘ruts’ or how sad our lives are when it consists of Campos Coffee and Harris Farm Markets, but truly the day I met him, I met a friend for life!

Marina and the Diamonds – I Am Not a Robot
A very very new addition to my days, but a song that I fell in love with upon first hearing it. A song that resonated quite well with what was going on in my life when I first heard it. At the backend of the 2010/11 triathlon season, I was well and truly done with racing, I was exhausted, and very quickly losing focus and a head filled with a million and one things about where I wanted to go. However, I was too proud to admit this to anyone. Anyway, enough of the sob story, having this on repeat for about 3 weeks was enough to put a smile on my face and remind me that , “don’t be so pathetic, open and up and see that I am vulnerable… and guess what? I am not a robot.”

Lady GaGa - Telephone
An interesting song in it self, let alone as to why I like it. One freezing Sydney winter morning, as Dad and I drove over the harbor bridge to the dark side to ride through the Ku-Ring-Gai park, I played this song and as soon as it came on Dad started bouncing around like a mad man. My initial shock soon surpassed and I joined in. This was an amazing time for Dad and myself. As Dad embarked on his quest to complete an Ironman triathlon, he joined my training squad. To see the terrible conditions he endured, and the mental and physical hurdles he overcame to compete was nothing short of inspiring. To see Dad cross the line at Busselton made me so proud to see what my Dad can achieve.


So, really I am not inspired by a beat or rhythm, I am inspired by the wonderful people I have in my life. This I know is true. Everyday I will receive a call or a text or some other 20th century communication from a wonderful person. This reminds me that whatever we achieve is nothing without people to share it with.

Greetings From The Underground

In the last month I have left my full time job, been away for a bit of R&R, started a new job and have upped my training incredibly.

So I am hardly surprised that I have hit a low point. I like to refer to it as a hole that I have tripped and fallen in, and I am jsut slowly climbing my way out. So how did it happen?

1. 4 full weeks, of back to back sessins - clocking some awesome kms in swim, bike & run.Probably forgot to breathe and take things slower in my off times.
2.I didn't listen to my body, when instead of going ice skating, and dinners, and shopping and goodness knows what else - I should have been resting, and recovering.
3. Monday morning's open water session at Clovelly made me feel like I was going backwards, and spent the rest of the day dwelling on how bad I felt in that session.
4. I slept for a good 14 hours, missing riding, and then had to miss running on Tuesday. As I dwelled on the the number of missed sessions, I began to panic, and no matter what I was getting up in the morning to run and swim.
5. I began a 40min hill set only to be stopped by the Coach after 20mins, as he tried to save myself from myself.
6. Straight after this I tried again in the surf, and with a rogue 6ft set rolling through, and getting absolutely pummelled I actually thought I was going to drown!

I knew unless I did something to get back into a happy space - I could get really sick, or end up in a really negative place. And NOTHING is productive when there is lots of negativity.

So I went home, had a great coffee with my Dad, and slept the best 2 hours sleep I have had in a LONG time. I then went to work, and thought happy thoughts about the session to come that night.

I jumped in the pool and found my happy place in the water. I felt relaxed, and like I was floating - I was waiting to feel rubbish, and it never really came. I couldn't help but laugh that my weakest leg is now very much becoming my happy happy place. Running which is my strongest leg, doesn't feel peaceful like it used to.

This morning, I slept in and had a coffee on the beach at Bondi, and realised that if this is a dark hole, then I don't really have much to complain about. I know this may sound like I am just complaining, and many athletes have been through much much worse. But this was the first of big downs I have been through as an athlete.

As I have been told you need to be in the valleys in order to get to the mountain tops. AND I am hoping that I am now starting to freshen up and 'come good' as they say. This is all part of the journey and the bad times make the good times that much sweeter.

So the head noise has settled, and now looking forward to getting back into things. First step is track tonight, and if things don't go so well, it may just have to be another session at 80%...

And have things to look forward to and focus on. These are...
The City 2 Surf - ALWAYS a great day, and have a goal time to focus on... The rest will have done me the world of good.
Girl Time on Saturday - My Mumma and I are going to be girlie in the afternoon, no cap or goggles, or runners, or bikes - just lazy lunch, and getting our nails done.
Summer - Can not wait for the warm weather, and the sun to shine, and sneaky post training swims at Bondi make the days just that little much brighter...
AND
My Little Bro is home from a 3 week camping trip today, can not wait to go and catch up with him, and hear all his crazy stories...

The moral, as much as the last week as been mentally draining, not every challenge as an athelte is physical. The mental games that I will continue to play with myself will make me stronger, and i am determined to get through them to be the very best athlete that I can be.